“Well, she just needs to get over it.”
Words said by someone sharing the same waiting room as I. The conversation continued as my name was called and I followed the nurse, exiting the room. I find it interesting when those on their cell phones, carry on with conversations as if no one else exists. I’ve heard many things I really don’t want to know, and have actually had to suppress laughter because of something shared.
As I waited for the doctor I sat thinking about what she said. Of course, I have no idea what needed to be gotten over; but I do know in the past I’ve said, and have also been on the receiving end of, “just get over it.” I will also tell you, it’s something I don’t typically say anymore.
We each have different tolerances, hot buttons, and stress points. What causes me to be upset may leave someone else wondering why I would be worked up by something so trivial.
One of my boys can see a Daddy Long Leg Spider, pick it up, allow it to crawl on his arm, and set it gently down on the ground. Another, is deathly afraid of spiders, and a Daddy Long Leg will send him flying out of his seat faster than anything you’ve seen. Is one right or wrong? I don’t think so. I do wish I could figure out what caused him to fear spiders but hey, I don’t like thousand leggers and I don’t ever remember there being a traumatic event leading up to it – they just creep me out.
I’ve learned it’s really easy to be on the outside looking in on other people’s situations and believe we know what should be said and done; and I’ve also learned, unless I’m in the midst of a problem, I must be very careful before I offer a quick, flippant response as to how it should be handled.
The phrase, "Don't judge. Behind every person there's always a reason they are the way they are", is so true. It's important to remember that we really don't know what others have gone through or endured. Maybe someone needs validation, maybe they are clinging to something because of a loss, maybe they're dealing with bitterness and are in need a loving friend to help them with these feelings or maybe they don't even realize they are in the midst of destructive behavior. I've learned that if I’ve weathered a storm and see someone else is in the same boat, I should be willing to share my experience so they don’t feel alone and so maybe I can lessen the length of theirs.
We may not be able to calm their storm, but we can certainly offer a life preserver and float along with them until the clouds have passed, and the sun shines once again.